Most dishwashers are capable of speech. Their vocabulary might be limited to table ware, pots and pans and various detergents, but they can carry on a conversation about things you might want to talk to your dishwasher about. After all, this is 2020. Artificial Intelligence has seeped into every aspect of our lives, with varying levels of success.

But even dishwashers must reach the end of their days. As they shuffle off this mortal coil, they may rumble and gasp, spurt hot, soapy water when least intended, and fail to properly clean your dishes. You must reduce your expectations of your dishwasher. It is getting old. It maybe not be here next year or even next week.

Try to sympathize rather than scold. When talking to your dishwasher, emphasize all the good times you spent together, all the meals you prepared and the machine cleaned up after. Let the dishwasher know you appreciate all the times it worked as expected.